I just realized something.. .. I want something i cant have.. and i have what i dont want..
Maybe this is just life. Maybe its just how things work out. I lose something good because i treated it like i didnt need it when i had it. But now that i dont have it and its a year later.. I need it. I want it back because it was so comfortable. Im really upset now b/c until this point i didnt know what i cared so much. But i do. Its crazy because what i want back isnt mine and it doesnt want me to have it anymore. I pushed my limits and lost something good i think. Who knows maybe its not what i want but i have a good feeling i should have been different and maybe now i wouldnt be doing this. Gosh my life is so complicated.. I want to go back in time.. but im sure everyone does at some point in their life..I think its crazy how a year prior to this situation i would have never put two and two together i would have thought it would never happen.. them.. or us.. but we happened.. just like they happened.. im so confused. i hope i dont make myself out ot be a huge idiot.
im happy dont get me wrong.. i just have thought a lot about what i want.. and i figured it out.. but its a matter of can i still have it?!?!
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